Recent research has questioned the reason we humans seem so attached, or addicted, to our smartphone. The reason we now have this alarming relationship with our smartphone.

While it is our primary source of connection and information to the outside world, we know it is having a detrimental effect on our children and us. What then is the reason we pursue this activity with such zest and complacency?

Pew Research centre’s study advised nearly 50% of adults reported they “couldn’t live” without their smartphone. Arizona University conducted a study examining the potential detrimental interference smartphones have on our social interactions.

Smartphones take us away from being present in our close relationships. They can be used as an avoidance technique, an escape from reality or to justify the ‘me time’ we each strive to acquire in our busy world.

Parental Modelling

We know the data suggesting children’s smartphone exposure is mainly the result of the parental modelling they see. Children follow the monkey-see-monkey-do adage rather than do as I say, not as I do axiom parents.

Adults must take decisive action for themselves and as a model for their children. This provides the children with modelled behaviour; they are more likely to trust and follow. We have an evolutionary desire to connect with others, and smartphones plus social media have provided this within our hands and fingers for the first time in human history. It has happened so fast; we struggle with the rules and boundaries to ensure we manage our self and our children’s behaviour appropriately and advantageously.

Our connections with friends and family are typically built on trust and cooperation; the problem with social media connections is these are often cloaked and disconnected. We know predators are using our children, many are being cyberbullied, and the detrimental Insta has on our teens is shocking as they compare themselves to the thousands of photoshopped visual pics.

Are you ready to do something positive for yourself and your kids? If you are fabulous, then following these steps can certainly help you regain your control. After all, a phone is an innate metal object that has no control over you, none at all – unless – your consciously hand it over.

Steps to regain control over your Smartphone

1. Set time limits – I will place the phone down at 7 pm, won’t use it or look at it over dinner, place on silent and not check socials until 9 am the following morning
2. Charge all phones in the lounge room or kitchen – worst case, buy an alarm clock if this is the excuse and allow the kids and yourself to use it until say 7 or 8 pm, then silent and on charge, and in another area. Blue light prevents sound sleep
3. Have tech fee hours at home – tech-free days are great but often unachievable, therefore, set achievable rules.
4. Make a point to call a friend or family member and speak to them rather than using messenger or texting.
5. Discuss the falsity of posts on socials with your kids – let them know a picture does not reflect actual feelings, emotions or incidences occurring.
6. Remain open with discussions with your kids – listen, ask questions, try to understand their perspective and remain flexible

If you are struggling with that little voice in your head that keeps saying to you – ‘just check it’, ‘you may miss out on something’, ‘common on, just do it one more time’, this annoying voice can be quietened – if you want it to be.

We refer to this noisy voice as another part of you, a part that shouldn’t be denied as it is powerful as it encourages you to indulge in behaviour you truly wish to avoid or alleviate to a degree. If you struggle with this noisy, annoying part, please use the Parts Therapy we have designed called ‘Abolish Bad Habits’. This session can silence this annoying voice to give you back full control.

Grab your session, 40 minutes, and allow it to help you silence that irritating voice that keeps telling you to indulge in that smartphone behaviour you really want to break away from. Regain your control and set a positive example for your kids. It is a win-win for everyone. Do it now and start living in a beneficial way we were designed to live, connected, happy and in control.

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