My beautiful channel 9 colleague shared with me her struggle to move on after a difficult relationship that ended in separation. I recommended Virtual Hypnotherapy session and she was very successful and decided to write about her experience in 9Honey. Here is Jo’s story.
When a relationship ends, it can be difficult to move on, regardless of how it ended or who ended it – and particularly if it was a long-term relationship that formed the best part of two decades of your life.
I found myself struggling to let go following the end of my marriage almost a year ago, to a point where I felt like, despite the fact I had left, I still wasn’t free. It was frustrating because when a relationship’s over, the fallout can be worse than the reasons it ended. I felt stuck, sad, heartbroken, and completely unable to control my emotions.
I tried everything to let go and move on, or at least I thought I had, until I talked to one of my favourite people, Dr Karen Phillip, about it. She’s been exactly where I am and explained to me that it wouldn’t always be this way. I wouldn’t always feel so sh–, I wouldn’t always feel stuck, and there was hope for the future. However, Dr Phillip did have a suggestion for me to help expedite my healing and recovery: hypnotherapy.
I’d heard of hypnotherapy before from friends who had used it to stop smoking or lose weight, but I’d never thought of using it to try and heal a broken heart. The thought of potentially giving someone control of my mind felt scary, but if I was going to hand over control of my mind to anyone, it would be to a doctor.
Being a journalist, I asked Dr Phillip a million questions about it before even considering trying it. I wanted to know how it worked. She explained that hypnotherapy is a natural process in which “your mind is more receptive to positive suggestion while releasing negative feelings.”
“It aids the mind to rapidly integrate new skills, strategies and strengths,” Dr Phillips explained. “It is an alternative healing method used to create subconscious change in the form of new responses, thoughts, attitudes, behaviours or feelings.” She said hypnotherapy can create “new inner beliefs to make changes in the way you think, feel and behave.”
Dr Phillip wanted me to do the Overcome Trauma session, explaining it was the best one for me to try because it would help me “release the negative memories and experiences” I had lived in my relationship.
I was desperate for that. My relationship had been a significant one. There was love, fun, happiness, joy, and three incredible children as a result of it. I wanted to release the negative emotions and hang onto everything that was good about it.
I strongly believe that no relationship is a waste, that there is something to learn from every experience—if your fractured mind allows you to do so. Dr Phillip has released all of her most popular hypnotherapy sessions on her website to make them accessible to all and, most importantly, affordable.
I read through the instructions and set myself up for my first session. I downloaded it on my phone, put in my headphones, waited for the kids to fall asleep and then sat down to begin. To be honest, I didn’t think it would work. I pressed play and listened to Dr Phillip’s calm voice; before I knew it, she was leading me through the hypnotherapy process.
I don’t remember all of it. All I know is that I felt myself relaxing but was worried it wouldn’t work for me because my mind began darting around to random places. I kept trying to bring my mind back to the session, and the next thing I knew, Dr Phillip’s voice became firm: “Open your eyes”. My eyes sprung open and I became fully conscious again. What the hell? I hadn’t even been fully aware of my mind sinking into the session until she loudly announced it was done.
Dr Phillip explained it would take up to five days for the session to have full effect, and after seeing I had downloaded several of the files from her website, told me to wait that long until I did another. I noticed the session had an immediate effect because when I woke up the next day, I stretched and smiled. I can’t remember having woken up like that since the end of my marriage.
Over the course of the next few days, I felt my past relationship find a place in my mind, instead of overwhelming all of it. It was like my ex’s face had been glaring directly in front of me, but he became smaller and took up residence in the top, right-hand side of my mind. Instead of the trauma of my past relationship colouring and flavouring everything in my life, it found its rightful place.
Another way I describe it is that my ex went from being a wasp repeatedly stinging me to an annoying buzzing fly I could shoo away when I wanted to.
Dr Phillip recommends Overcoming Trauma to anyone who needs to “release the negative memories and experiences” they had lived in a previous relationship, or “who has experienced a trauma in their life”.
She says the mind tends to attach to the emotions of events, and the hypnotherapy session can give the mind the capacity to “resolve, dissolve and reframe how we think and feel about these.” After explaining to Dr Phillip the results of my session, she said it had done exactly what she had designed it to do. “It allows you to walk forward leaving the past as a distant memory, along with the emotions we attached to it,” she said.
She said I don’t have to hold onto negative feelings about my ex, with whom I shared so much of my life and three children, but that disconnecting from negative emotions is “so valuable”.
I wanted to be back in control of my life and my feelings, and I feel I am now. I don’t feel completely over the relationship. I don’t think that’s possible. But I do feel like it has taken up its rightful place in my mind, where all the disappointment, heartbreak and ill feelings belong.
Read the story on 9Honey