The end of a relationship can be hurtful, perplexing and complicated. It doesn’t matter if married or in a committed relationship, it is usually awful.
We often go through the ‘if only’ and the ‘what if’ scenarios. We sometimes struggle to let go of those memories, even though we may feel so dreadfully hurt. How then do we move on when we may not want to let go of this relationship and secretly hope our partner will change their mind, realise how wonderful you are together and return with open arms. Do I wait patiently or do I take a breath, understand my new reality and start moving forward in my life?
And how do I move on with my life? This is the million-dollar question, especially if I really do not want to move on yet.
The fact is we can’t move on if we stay stuck in the past and this is often where we are left, stuck. If you have tried to mend the relationship yet issues continued and one person has finally walked away, this is usually the time to accept the relationship end and allow the healing to start. It is healing you need to do, and you will go through a mourning process as it is the end and the loss of your relationship. It takes time to recover from this loss and if we also need to separate finances and property, it is escalated enormously. If you share children together, you will both remain connected forever.
You just can’t move on if you remain holding onto the past. Remaining in contact with that person may delay this ability to move on.
Depending on the type and length of relationship you had depends on how fast you should delete them from your social media contacts. Best idea is Now!
Of course, you want to know what they are doing and who they are doing it with. Naturally, you may want to send a birthday wish just to make sure you remain on their mind. The problem with this is you may remain on their mind. They may feel stalked or harassed. They may also feel empowered that you are having difficulty ‘getting over’ them. Maybe you want to remain friends. Continuing a relationship, distant or otherwise will only prolong your suffering and prohibit you from letting go and moving on to someone more worthy of you.
Some Tips to Assist you to Move On
1. Disassociate from your ex. Not social media comments or connections, no calling to check-in, no asking about them. They now need to be a thing of your past, no longer present
2. Accept you are going to pass through a mourning process. Talk about your feelings and find ways to manage the distress or hurt you feel. Going to a Counsellor can often help or using the Relationship Recovery session will certainly assist
3. Accept that life is now different. You may now need to do different things, find different friends or groups, perhaps activities as you can’t both keep attending the same. This can mean confronting this change, and although scary, it is necessary
4. If connected via property or children, text or email information only, not verbally discuss. When we verbally talk we connect, when done via text they are more distant. Speak only about the subject or topic and never deviate into how are you or what have you nee doing discussion as this is connective and reminds you that you are not together
5. Learn from past mistakes, so they are not repeated. Once you are able to reduce those feelings of loss and can move on to someone more worthy of you, it is essential you reflect on what went wrong and what you may be able to do different or better next time. This is where professional Counselling can assist.
Many of us fail to learn from past mistakes and we often repeat them, vowing we won’t. This then leaves us with more baggage to deal with, feel guilty about or become distressed we have not been able to let go of something. I urge anyone experiencing this issue to undertake the Remove Baggage session so you can alleviate those previous issues that may continue to haunt you. Dissolve them, put them away and become ready to move on with another exciting phase of your life. Life is there to live; you deserve to be happy. No one deserves the power you give them to keep you down, no one.
Take control and do what is right and best for you Now…
Get your Remove Baggage session to move on from those past issues that continue to haunt you and allow those past issues to dissolve away.