Your relationship has ended, how to recover faster
Regardless of the fact it was you or your partner who ended it, the recovery takes time once a relationship ends. You have lost your coupleness or even your family unit. We experience a time of loss, remorse, sadness and need to recover.
Once we separate, our life changes. It may be a change we welcome or a shock we didn’t expect. Either way, it is different. How then do we proceed into this new life as a single person again? It may have been years, even decades since you were last single. How do you recover, what do you do and how do you adjust?
There is no rule on the time it takes to recover from a separation but following these tips can aid your recovery process so you can grow your life as a happy, independent individual. You can start your new identity, as you. Using the Relationship Recover session can also accelerate the recovery process by cutting that cord with your ex to finally move onto the next phase of your life more empowered.
1. Start some new activities
Research shows that physical activity releases dopamine and serotonin into our brain, these are our feel-good hormones and can assist us to feel stronger and happier. You can actively walk, jog, dance, skip with a rope or go to gym classes. It doesn’t matter what you do as long as you enjoy it and get some physical activity to release those wonderful feel-good hormones. It is always a good idea to start some new fun activities when we are redefining our life.
2. Take Care of Yourself
Often when in a relationship we care for everyone else and forget about ourselves, this is particularly relevant to women. We care for the husband or partner, parents if older, our friends, our children, we usually forget about us. This is the time to take care of you. Make sure you eat well, get enough rest and sleep and give yourself time to stop and relax. This is not the time to overindulge in food or alcohol. The best way you can get back at an ex is to prove how wonderful you are, how fabulous you look and what a great life you now have.
3. Keep in touch with friends and family
No one should go through a separation or divorce alone. Find the people who can positively support you through this transition. You need positive people around you. You do not want to be with those that want to talk about your ex or how terrible he / she is; you need people around you that are positive, happy and can plan forward, taking you with them.
4. Ensure You Allow Yourself to Work Through the Grief and Loss
We all want to avoid pain, but in this case, you need to carefully push through the painful emotions of a separation or divorce. Working through the emotions helps you heal. A separation or divorce is the loss of a relationship or your family unit. There are stages of grief – disbelief, shock, negotiation, anger and acceptance. We need to go through each one to come out the other side stronger and more focused on our future. It will be hard for a while. Work with a Counsellor in these stages if necessary to help you get through them supported and faster. Using the Relationship Recovery session assists you to move on faster.
5. Get Support
Asking for help and support can be difficult. You may have been the strong one to keep things going, to support others yet now you feel vulnerable. By seeking out and asking for assistance says you are smart enough to understand that all people sometimes need help, this is your time now.
If you have now become a single parent, you have additional pressures on you. You must battle this new single relationship, support the children, perhaps set up a new home, make new arrangements for childcare and arrange finances alone.
6. Learn to deal with the ex – you will see them often if you have children together
This can sometimes be the hardest part. Regardless if you were the person that left or the person that was left, the emotions will be strong. When we have high emotions, our logic process is significantly flawed, sometimes non-existent. We may do things, say things or act in ways we would never normally do.
Cutting as much contact with the ex is best. If you have children, you will need to be in contact so the children can spend time with the other parent, regardless if you want them to or not. Bets advice is to know this person is not right for you; the relationship did not work out as you may have hoped and while you are better out of an unloving relationship, you feel so lost and alone right now. Cut all ties where possible, ask friends not to tell you anything about them or their life, even if you ask. Remove them off Facebook. This is part of the recovery process, and when you can ostracise them, you are moving into a much better place.
To help you move on we have developed a relaxation session called Relationship Recovery to assist your subconscious mind to deal with this loss and develop the strength to move on faster, so you can find happiness again in your life, better than before, stronger than before and more empowered to make the right choices for you.
Read more information for help and recovery for a range of issues from Virtual Hypnotherapy